• 4 months ago
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  • 2 3

I’M FEELING EVERY GOD DAMN EMOTION RIGHT NOW!!!

After I turned 14 my father would regularly force himself on me. My mother knew about this and did nothing to stop it.Now today years later my therapist encouraged me to talk to my mother about it in a counseling session.I did that today and my mother claimed that I simply misunderstood my father’s reasonings and intentions behind his actions.

My therapist says that my mother the worst delusional battered woman she’s seen in her twenty years as a therapist.My mother refuses to believe my father was abusive and she rationalizes everything he did.She says that my father was a good, hardworking man.And any abuse I think he did to me he must’ve had a good reason for it, or else he wouldn’t have done it.

My mother believes that I’m a pathological liar and I need help for my problem.I actually have written letters,texts and other shit by other people describing what a gaping ass my father was.I gave them to my therapist weeks ago, she showed them to my mother.My mother claimed that the texts and letters were fake and said that whatever vendetta I had against my father needed to stop because I was slandering his good name.

As far as i’m concerned now my mother is dead to me.Thanks to hat asshat I have a negative and unrealistic view of men. I perceive some forms of assault as normal even though I know it’s not. I’m untrusting towards everyone and have difficulty maintaining close relationships. I hate that I was born a girl. I don’t feel trapped in the wrong body, I was conditioned to view women as worthless and expendable objects. I have no self value and hate everything about myself physically. I’m neurotic and suffer from crippling depression because of this.I have commitment issues and have trouble finishing things even when I enjoy doing them.

My therapist says that my mother needs an army of help, and can only be helped if my mother acknowledges that she needs it. Right now my mother believes that there’s nothing wrong with her or the decisions she’s made and believes I’m overreacting to everything,misunderstanding intentions, or I can’t accept how the real world works.Even after 20 plus years in working in her career field my therapist is just shocked at some of the things my mother said,did,allowed to happen, or thought was completely normal.I especially hate it when my mother says that i’m lying.I always hate being told I’m lying so that’s why I always give proof with everything I claim.With everything I showed my therapist I don’t think she had much room for doubt and side taking.She also tried to sympathize with my mother at first,to try to comfort her into opening up.That just ended with my mother traumatizing my therapist because of how delusional she is.I’m actually surprised I didn’t cry at some point, especially after I was told in private that trying to help my mother at this point would be nearly impossible and I should think about limiting my contact with her at my current stage in my healing process.

All Comments

  • I’m also terribly sorry to hear about your situation. You should at least feel little more vindicated.

    Anonymous June 9, 2018 4:25 am Reply
  • jfc i’m sorry you’re stuck in that situation

    Anonymous June 9, 2018 4:38 am Reply
  • Hi dear, is your mom still with your dad? Of course, she will protect the man she loves, even if it means losing her daughter. She is very selfish and coniving. Amd for her to know of the abuse and do nothing is despicable. I’m sorry you have a mom like that, but she’s always going to be on your dad’s side, unfortunately. It’s time to move on without her. I understand your many worries and they are valid, but you got to let some go before you can be happy. Realize women are not worthless; women have so much vaue and they add so many positive things to this world. Without women us men would literally die of bordeom (lol) and depression because we wouldn’t get to see her smile, hear her sigh with contenment as we cuddle her, kiss her forehead, watch her rock our little babies, and share all that love with us. Please don’t have a warped view of men- most of us are wonderful with women. I can see you have a bright future. Keep working with your therapist and you will have all that you seek. Wishing you peace of mind, happiness, and success. I believe in you. Many hugs 💗

    Anonymous June 9, 2018 6:52 am Reply
  • Your mother may be a lost cause, but you’re not. She’s so deep in denial that nothing will change for her, but you know that things were not right in your childhood, you want to outgrow the damage done, and you can because you are open to help. Over time I hope you can break away from your past as you learn to thrive in life. It’s all so fresh now after such a horrible session, but time can heal you. I believe you.

    Anonymous June 9, 2018 9:10 am Reply
  • save yourself. she cannot admit it. try to keep distance

    Anonymous June 9, 2018 6:44 pm Reply
  • The fact that she knew and did nothing to stop it disgust me beyond words. She obviously has her own shit to work through but in the meantime you can’t let her drag you down.

    Anonymous June 9, 2018 7:36 pm Reply
  • Your mother has her head so far up her ass but it’s embedded in there permanently. It even if she does manage to pry her head out,the second that she admits to herself about the stuff that went on it will destroy her completely. Her denial is the result of her trying to save herself, but in that process she’s destroying you and that’s not fair. The best thing you can do at this point is leave her alone and try to save yourself. I get it, no one wants to abandon a parent. However right now your mother is toxic and you don’t need that.

    Anonymous June 9, 2018 11:43 pm Reply
  • Someone please smack that woman!

    Anonymous June 10, 2018 11:40 pm Reply
  • Holy shit this is fucked up

    Anonymous July 12, 2018 1:44 pm Reply

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