I've been unsure how to let my current girlfriend down easily. I've gone along with things with her for a while because I thought maybe I'd come around to

4 years

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I’ve been unsure how to let my current girlfriend down easily. I’ve gone along with things with her for a while because I thought maybe I’d come around to enough things. I thought I’d get used to some of the odd inconsistencies between us. Instead I’ve turned to other discord friends to fulfill some of the needs I’d expect from a partner and have just started acting like I’m more interested in the things she is than I am in order to keep her happy.

I don’t feel as if I see her in the same light as I have in the past, and I don’t know how to broach the topic without seriously wrecking her. For a start, she’s had issues with previous partners leaving her on bad terms, and she also has some issues with emotional/psych stuff. I know that a touchy topic for her regarding previous breakups is body dysmorphia but beyond that I don’t know what the trigger points could be.

I’m at a point where I trust others with talking about my emotional turmoil more than her because it never feels like she’s really comfortable talking about it. That’s what’s really spurning me on to consider this more carefully. My brother’s going through a rough spot in his relationship as well, and I mentioned being worried about him to my GF and her responses were extremely minimal — “Oh no,” “:/,” “I don’t know what to say about that,” and “*hug*” were all she mustered before

She also keeps pushing for wanting to live together (context: long-distance relationship over Discord) but I feel like she’s rushing into it Passing comments suggest she’s not fiscally responsible, and it feels more like she wants to leave home and live with me (who is also working to live anywhere rather than “with mom”) to have a judgement-free caretaker rather than wanting to make a life for herself. It feels like she has hopes and dreams but not necessarily plans or aspirations.

On top of all of this I’m also realizing, because of some of her s***** advances, that I might actually be asexual. I like the idea of people finding me attractive/cute, and I like the idea of closeness, and I like the idea of aesthetic attraction and finding someone attractive, and I even like kink play or foreplay or smthn as intimate as like sensual n*** cuddling with some slight groping involved, but I don’t like the idea of s**. She talks about wanting to rail me, or have s**, or eat a** the first time we see each other and I’m realizing just how little I can really reciprocate those feelings. I don’t *want* to be railed, I don’t *want* to rail, I don’t want to s*** someone off or vice-versa, etc. I’m just really not comfortable with the propositions she’s given me.

We’ve been a thing for a little over a year and a half. No matter how I drop this, it’s going to hurt. And it feels, to me, too all-encompassing to really be “something to work through” or “something to compromise on.”

New Confession

My sister’s husband die and I told my mother that I was going to tell her about what me and her have been doing since my dad had past and.then I thought I would be great to have her join me and my mother in bed and see what she would do if she saw.us together having s**. I called her up and invited her over.to.the house and when she walked into my bedroom and saw mom on my bed naked and me inside her she couldn’t believe what she was.seeing. I told my sister to take her clothes off and join us. She got up on the bed and she really couldn’t believe mom started eating her p**** as i was f****** mom
Mom got up and left the room and that’s when I started f****** my sister and told her that me and mom had.been f****** since dad passed. She asked me how that all started and I told her what happened with me and mom was kinda a accident when I was taking her back east to stay with her sister back east. Then i told her that i talked.her into eat her.out and having you join in.all the fun. She said that she.never would have thought.that mom would have.started.eat her.out with me inside her. Then I told my sister that I told mom what happened with me and her when she was pregnant with her son and she said what did mom say about that. She was surprised that my sister and I had s** back then. My sister said that I was never suppose to say anything to any one about that and I told her I thought why not since we were all family anyways. My sister when she was pregnant with my nephew her husband wouldn’t f*** her because he thought it would hurt the baby so me and my sister had s** all the way up to the day that she had my nephew. Then my sister told me you want to hear something else about the family and I said what and she said dad was her first he was the one that popped her cherry and I asked her when did that happen and she said one of those times that me and Dad went out for father’s daughter day they went over to Uncle Willie’s house and dad had s** with her that was her first time she never wanted to tell anybody but she told me that day she said it was really good too and she had more s** with dad along the way and she said I don’t think Mom knows and I said we should tell her and she said yeah you’re right we probably should. Then I asked my sister how often did you and Dad have s** she said every chance we could get Dad would f*** me and I let him. She told me even after she got married every chance they got to be alone dad would f*** her and she loved it when Dad would penetrate her and c** inside of her. She said that she really enjoyed dad’s come when he was shooting inside of her she always wanted to get pregnant by dad but it never happened. Then I told her about what happened with me and Dad and she was really surprised on what he did with me when I was little.

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