I was actually hurt, left dissapointed by my own family is ten times more painful than a small cut. I want to give everything that I have but that’s not enough and I grew up never realising that I’m enough at this point. I kept saying that it’s okay because there are lots of people who are still unfortunate but i lied to myself just to ease for my well-being. How can I be fortunate if I can’t be true to myself? people do easy talks huh? idk, it’s past my bed time and I still can’t get over the pain to a point where right now I can’t feel any. It feels numb but it’s for the best, and these constant act given by my family made me feel like I’m worthless, anxious, panic, and numb. But I lied, I can’t fulfill my needs other from my friends. My parents doesn’t even know that every time I’m out of the house, i do that just to ease my pain not for refreshing. I liked coming home late because I don’t feel like I’m at home with my parents. I don’t feel that comfort and belongness, as if it wasn’t made for me.
I hope things will get better for me because I’m sad and tired eventhough i haven’t done much but it’s always loud in my head thatt exhaust me.