We’ve been together for over a decade. I’ve loved him with my all. In the beginning it was a wonderful sweet romance and then he gradually began to criticize and ridicule me in small barely noticeable ways. The kind that sneak up on you and you’re left wondering if that was a joke or a meanness. He developed a gambling problem. I stuck by him and tried to support in all the ways I could. I’m far from perfect but I’m a good woman and he is the love of my life. It’s was never flat out cruel but far from kind and the gambling left me alone often. Wondering how to pay the bills and deal with responsibilities. Recently I self destructed and had a meaningless affair. At first he told me we could work it out and he loved me more than anything. Things got better. He appreciated me again and showed me how it felt to be truly loved for the first time in my life. I opened up and fell deeper in love with him. Then he started saying my affair made it impossible for him to continue. Things have been so good but it felt off, like an excuse. So I pushed for more and now he finally tells me…he likes women with a p****. I cannot grow a p**** so now what? Now friends and family get to think I destroyed the relationship and I’m branded a cheater instead of a woman pushed to the brink of insanity. I simply never could be what he wants and that’s why he was mean. He’ll never tell anyone so now I’m just left adrift. Taking all the blame publicly while being destroyed from the inside out for giving the best years of my life and enduring so much pain with the belief that this was my love and standing by him is what you do for a life partner. I’m so done. So done with it all. The pain is excruciating. Feels like my entire life has been an uphill battle only to get to the top and see it’s a wasteland.