i lie to everyone about how im felling i say im fine and sometimes i say im sad or angry but really im scared. not of people but of the things i see and

8 years

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i lie to everyone about how im felling i say im fine and sometimes i say im sad or angry but really im scared.
not of people but of the things i see and most of the time i cant tell if its real or not and its not easy for me because im scared that the person im talking to might not be real and i dont want to seem crazy but i am.
sometimes its easier then other times but i dont know what to do because they tell me to do bad things and thats something i have used to help me tell apart the real from the fake.

New Confession

I regularly think about hurting myself. I used to sh years ago but I’m 2 years clean now. But when it gets late at night or when I’m alone, I think of bashing my head into the floor, or taking as many pills as I can. I might think of dying sometimes but most of the time I think of the pain that might come with these things. Like how I might internally bleed or choke on my own vomit. I don’t feel normal. Not when I have these thoughts almost nightly.

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