8 years
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I am one fucked up individual. I have grown up without no one really there for me, so I created a cast of people in my life, in a “group” outside of school. One day, they slipped out of my mouth. And I didn’t feel bad about it. I told everyone, claiming they were real. I slowly slipped away into a false sense of security believing they were real. It wasn’t until friends wanted to meet these people that I realized they weren’t real. I tried to kill myself. I cut myself. I tried to run away. I told no one. I’m scared shitless. I faked two of their deaths. I’m going to hell, straight to hell. I’m an awful person. I don’t speak about any of them anymore. People ask, I say it’s too hard to talk about because it is. I ruined the real relationships I had started with the fake ones. I’m going to lose them, be all alone, and when I try to slip back into a false sense of security once more, the false ones I cared for the most are dead. I’m mentally ill, I know it. I know it. I’m fucked up. It’s all my fault, it’s all my fault, it’s all my fault. If you’re religious, please… am I going to hell? Am I sinning? I think I’m a sinner. I try my hardest not to be. I’m in a school group that helps with charities, I put others before myself, I always help the homeless, and I make sure to be there for my friends. Everyone says I’m a good, kind, caring person… but they don’t know I’m a liar. I’m an awful, stupid, worthless liar. Would they still love and accept me… if they knew who I really was? I’m going to kill myself, most likely. I’m an awful person, absolutely awful. No one brings it up anymore, any of the people, but I can’t put it away. I still lied. If I don’t kill myself, I’m going to do whatever I can so other people can live a wonderfully happy life, because it’s the least I could do for a world that’s better off without me. Please help me. Please. Am I a sinner? Will I be going to hell? Is this fixable? Am I worth it or should I end myself now? Please help me.

For reference I’m a 17 year old high schooler, female, living in the US. If you know who I am, I guess you could call me out. I deserve it. Anything bad that happens to me now, I deserve it.

New Confession

I wanted so bad to see and find out what my wife’s deepest darkest fantasy was. She is very pretty in early forties and I wanted to spark up our relationship with something different. She told me her friends would spice up the bedroom with roleplaying giggling when she mentioned it. This was the perfect opportunity so one night I did the unthinkable never expecting to hear her tell me she says the following. Go down and pleasure me and I might give in. Well she starts little by little and finally she Just tells me the mysterious man is barely a man in his late teens. She’s traveling by herself bored drinking wine when she hears a knock. It’s the young guy from the hotel she saw at the bar. He told her she left her card. Something comes over her and she starts to flirt and he returns later on that night. She and him make hot love all night she can’t believe how good he is. I ask her did he f*** you good? She says yes very good and she rides him even harder and he last forever and they fall asleep together. By this time I’m rock hard. The thought later crossed my mind because she does travel and she does drink wine. She’s told me younger guys always seem to flirt with her. Then something hits me. I actually think it truly really happened. I started to think maybe she made up the part about her friends talking about roleplaying? Then I realized she hadn’t been out with them for a few months how was this possible. I couldn’t get this off my mind it was just something that wouldn’t go away. I knew she could be a flirt and with wine she’s a totally different person. Two weeks went by we were at a wedding saw her friends and one mentioned it’s been a while since her and wife have spoken and my wife didn’t catch on. That night she was drinking pretty heavily and she was ready for s** when I just pulled down her p****** I could always control her once I started touching and licking her. This was my chance and I just said it. Are you looking forward to traveling back to Dallas ? Do you hope to meet him there again? Do you hope he’s ready to f*** you good again? She tells me yes I really want to touch hold and feel his huge long d*** inside of her. I then said … you can tell me the truth I won’t care. I’m pretty sure you have really fucked him and I want you to continue it’s all okay. She said yes we fucked it just somehow happened we couldn’t resist the other he was tall handsome and very s*** looking. He knew how to get his way. I’m glad your not upset I didn’t know how to ever tell you I just lost control. I said now that I know the truth I want to to be safe and continue to f*** him I think it’s hot. I know I would very likely f*** a hot young girl too . That made her go wild and she said if you eat her p**** and finger her as good as you ear me she is going to keep coming back to you and she just exploded all over my mouth f****** my face hard pushing my head deep and hard squeezing my head deep jerks screaming my name and his until she’s done. She said I wish you both would take me mmmmm. Julia continued to meet him and eventually got hooked up with another man. We both started seeing others and we love each other more than ever. We talk about how much they are good in bed. David and Julia.

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