I lie. I lie without reason.
I lie looking in your eyes. Even though I have no one in this world except you. You ask me to come n*** and clean, you even believe everything I tell you.
In you, I see my pain, my cure, my sin, my salvation, my cold nights, darkness and the bright spring.
I love you more than anything.
This is love.
You are what I fear and you are my shelter. I’m like something I cannot define.
My insecurities control me. My trauma tales over. Until I get close to you, I will not be relieved. I cannot help myself.
I carry a dagger rammed deep into my hollow chest, each time I lie to you.
I can’t help. I don’t deserve to ask for it.
