To Husband/confess:

The rule is:

“IF there is any chance of your husband finding out through other means, then YOU tell him first to avoid his having to learn through other avenues. IF there is no REALISTIC chance of him finding out about your cheating through other means, then you NEVER TELL HIM, and live with your own guilt, SPARING HIM the hurt that he never needs to experience.”

Of course many serial cheater morons will tell you “… he has a right to know…” (there again, their own selfishness creeps in, not giving a sh*t about your husband’s “right NOT TO KNOW” )