Do other parents feel this way?

I don’t like spanking my child…I really wanted to raise them without corporal punishment, or at least as little as possible.
I didn’t want to be like my own parents who were manipulative, and spanked with belt, shoe, hanger, and anything in reach at the time of anger. Later on in my teen years, they would manipulate financially and emotionally because I wouldn’t do anything warranting a spanking. I would say because I was too old, but my older sister would still get hit. Sometimes on the face. But I digress.
One of the issues I have is, my parents act like they were as good as it gets. Sometimes they lie to strangers, and never mention hitting or just flat deny it.
All this while, at the same time, staying that some kids need to get spanked and we( me and my sis) needed to be spanked to behave.
After I had my first child, they would roll their eyes and judge how I wanted to raise my child.
I even tried the “don’t say no” method. Which is actually just not saying the word “no”. Not to be confused with”let your kid do whatever they want”.
My mother got furious at me with this when I would remind her not to say “no” and instead say it another way. She would belittle me about it like I was stupid.
This was when my child was 1-2 years old.
They’d both belittle me when it came to me saying any of my parental boundaries.

Unfortunately, my child isn’t perfect. Haha, neither was I as a kid. In fact they’re just like I was. But sometimes the fits are too much. The screaming, the running around the house when I try to put them in time out, the crying, not listening and saying anything to get out of time out. And other things. I have no idea what else to do at that point. SPANK SPANK SPANK. Now you go to your room, or timeout anyway. Or a shower first if they fight back the spanking. Which is mostly hands covering b***, and rolling on the floor.
I do with I could console to my parents, but every time I have opened up about anything, they just hit me with this smug judgement. Like it makes them right and I was so stupid to think anything else was better. They’re experts, and have gone through it all. So, I refuse to open up to them about how I struggle with parenting.

So, I’m alone. I don’t know if anything I’m doing is fine, or bad, or whatever.