i used to put on a mask and go out at night to help the homeless people in my city. i started doing it because i made a promise to someone, who cant be around to see me see it through. i was only 16 when i started doing this, and i like to think i had it all. i had a girl who i loved, who loved me back. but i kinda dropped the ball on it because of this stuff. i covered my tracks pretty well, but y’see, one of the things i used to really love about her was how smart she was. she knew i was up to something that i didnt want her knowing about, and would regularly ask me where i had been, why i had bruises, and things like that to try to get me to slip up or just flat out tell her. but i never did. lying to her killed me. i hated doing it so much. what else could i have done? if i’d told her she would just worry about me every time i had to go out. eventually she just decided she had enough lies and left. it was my own fault, and i think about it every day. i just wish she could have known. i havent put on the suit since may, and im not sure if im doing the right thing by quitting like this. i feel like i owe it to everyone to keep doing it and just get back into the groove, but it just feels so wrong wearing that outfit knowing it drove a wedge through a relationship i cared so much about.

-a stupid kid who spent his late teens dressing up and handing out sandwiches and breaking up fights

i know this was a long read, but theres nobody i can really talk to about any of this, so i kinda seized the opportunity to just dump