I intentionally went against one of my bosses rules right in front of her and I've been making lots of mental mistakes at my job and I've been lazy

4 years

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I intentionally went against one of my bosses rules right in front of her and I’ve been making lots of mental mistakes at my job and I’ve been lazy insensitive unloving unmerciful unforgiving irresponsible ungodly selfish hipocrytical prideful immature unprofessional self rightous disrespectful I complained passed judgement against others I lied I felt awkward embarrassed goofy pathetic anxious I overreacted I was manipulative devisive tyrannical and I had a martyr like attitude

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Thanks to my best friend Julia for unfollowing me

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I’m plagued with thoughts of r*** and homocide and I don’t know how to stop it, I don’t think I can. It feels me with immense guilt, especially when the person that I’m looking at, thinking of, doesn’t even know what kind of sick and terrible things I want to do to them. It’s sick. And unfortunately those thoughts have been worsening lately. They’ve gotten so extreme that I’m afraid I’m going to give in to them soon.