I love my boyfriend so much. He’s k**** in a dominant way but just not to the level I want. I want exhibitionism, polyamory, and public humiliation. I truly love and can see us having a good life together but I’m 20 and just have that itch for more. I think it’s just sadness about how I want my life but I just don’t have a well-enough paying job to get a place of my own. It’s not like I have the independence to up and go to a glory hole without my parents tracking me. It’s a future of independence I aim for when I get a job after university.

I don’t want the ‘husband and kids’ future, and I know he does. He’s a great guy. I could see a comfy future. It’s just not the future I want, I’m sorry. I love him though. I love him so much. He knows that. I hope he knows that.