I’ve grown so numb to wanting to help people. Sometimes people don’t want to be helped or anything I do doesn’t help. It’s so draining to try and be there for someone who just doesn’t show any emotion to care. I get sick to my stomach that there are people who willingly put themselves in disgusting dehumanizing outright volatile situations. Things are so unfair. I try to say life is worth living despite its flaws but when I see people get what I want without any effort or by being horrible while I’m left miserable makes me feel so empty. I don’t want to come off as selfish or entitled but when will it be my turn to have these things. What’s so wrong with me that you can’t just talk to me? Why did you say those things and make me feel disposable. Like I could be replaced at any moment. I get I mess up but I couldn’t ever say something like that and you scared me so much. I though you were gonna leave and act like I never existed. It hurts that you said that and I can’t stop thinking about it. You told me things are fine but it’s not fine if you said that. That you would just discard me and throw our friendship away so easily.