I have discovered through therapy that I have traits of toxic masculinity. I have been manipulative and controlling. In the past, I had many good friends who were girls. In fact during my late teens and early 20s, I had more girl friends than I did guy friends. Several of them were even best friends. We could talk about pretty much anything, and I talked to them all pretty much every day. We would also play video games together a lot. The thing is, these girls saw me as one of their closest friends. They had an emotional attachment to me…but not a romantic attachment. I however had ulterior motives. See, I was attracted to these girls, and I treated them like prizes to be won. I was being friends with these girls in the hopes of eventually dating or f****** them. I was not being honest with them. When my eventual advances would inevitably be rejected, I would use my status as their emotional support/best friend as a weapon to hurt them. I abandoned or nuked the friendship I had with at least 5 seperate close friends over the years because they didnt want to date and/or f*** me. I was manipulative, and dishonest, and totally selfish. Looking back, I have a lot of regret and guilt over the friendships I ruined.