I relapsed twice this past week. I am a married man but I enjoy sliding things in my a** and pushing on my prostate. My go to is a smooth rake handle in the garage. I prop it up and spit all over the end then back into it. I love the e***** forbidding depravity of it but feel so guilty afterwards. I f*** myself back and forth in and out until I j*******. I confessed to my priest yesterday too. I hope to be able to stay clean.