I’m in love with my best friend. I’m currently in a relationship with another woman for just shy of 5 years, and I can only think about my best friend. Last Fourth of July, her and I climbed on top of her roof and watched fireworks together – just her and I. She told me earlier that day that if she had to pick one person to keep out of everyone she knew and held close, it’d be me… even over the guy she started seeing about a week after saying that. The memories of her and I rush through my mind constantly. I don’t know if she’s playing games with me or what – last time we hung out, she showed us “glimpse of us” by Joji. I keep thinking what does it mean? Am I looking too far into things? Why do I not push it aside so I can stay with my current gf? This has been going on for about 2 years, my crush going in and out with her. It seems the only way to get it to go away is to cut her off completely – but I just can’t. I can’t cut her off. She’s my best friend. She’s everything to me.

This next 4th of July, we’re hanging out and most likely doing the same thing, except her boyfriend is joining us. I can’t stop thinking about last year. I can’t stop thinking about her and I, together. I can’t stop thinking about the attention she gives me. I’ve fallen so far into love and I’m internally fighting whether I should tell my gf or really try to let it dissipate.