I was hurt in numerous ways I won’t even get into when I was younger, and all up through my school years. I have difficulty getting physically intimate with anyone, and even though I have found two very wonderful people who love me…I feel horrible for the fact that I can’t give them the same form of intimate love that they likely would be expecting in a typical relationship.

I’ve come to find that I am asexual (not aromantic, obviously) and I don’t find anything of that nature to be interesting, no matter which gender is involved. The mere thought of those acts turns my stomach and I keep feeling like this relationship down the line is going to hit so many snags because of this problem. It’s likely just all in my head but…I wonder if I can be a good lover if I can’t provide physical intimacy like that.

It weighs on my mind all the time. I wonder if I can be a good enough love to someone if I can’t stomach the idea of that sort of thing.