I’m in a relationship, a great relationship really. But there’s days where I miss my former job. I was a cam girl (off and on) for 4 years when I met her.

4 years

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I’m in a relationship, a great relationship really. But there’s days where I miss my former job. I was a cam girl (off and on) for 4 years when I met her. She is absolutely repulsed by the idea of cam girls and the things they do, however it’s always been a guilty pleasure of mine that I’ve always loved. It was the biggest turn on ever to be on screen and have hundreds of women and men drooling over me and complimenting me. I never engaged or got intimate with anybody, but I also sold my underwear, etc on the side. And I genuinely do miss the job just cause it was exciting and paid so well, but she’s extremely jealous of the idea of others seeing my body, and I know if I brought it up it would destroy our relationship. But I only wish so much that I could do it again. When I was a cam girl my s** drive was higher than ever, but once her and I got serious I stopped camming out of respect for our relationship. And every day I miss it. I miss my OnlyFans, I miss my cam sites, I miss selling my toys and underwear, I miss getting people off without even speaking to them, I miss it all. But out of respect for our relationship I don’t do any of it and I realize that without it, my s** drive is basically dead. I have to pretend I’m on camera when we have s** so I can really get into it. And I feel so bad. But I know she’d never approve. And as much as I want so desperately to do it in secret so I can go back to feeling that way I know it would ruin things. I just so desperately miss being an internet w****. Some days I hope we break up so I can do it again but I know it’s wrong. Is there something wrong with me?

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There’s this girl who works in the same company at the mall that I do who I’m pretty obsessed with (even though she’s married). I’m always checking her out. Lately, I haven’t seen her in a while, but in the past, I used to sniff the chairs she sat on, and one time she left her stuff at work. So I sniffed her jacket, licked the mouth area of her water bottle, I stole a tampon from her jacket because it has her scent, and I used the lotion she uses to rub on my d*** and balls. If I could’ve, I would’ve came on her jacket.