We discussed forgoing chemo when cancer surgery was successful, and you were adamant that chemo was the way to go. reasoning was doctors and all believed it but cancer was gone. as usual i deferred to your feelings but now I think maybe you were fearful that I would not stay with you and would return to work in Europe instead. I promised I would stay with you during chemo and afterward but I don’t think you believed. Dying as you did because of COVID and no immunity from having chemo makes me feel like i could have done more to change your mind and i did not. I think we would have had more time if we had foregone chemo and I ask everyday for your forgiveness in allowing you to die. I know it is selfish, you were in such pain and misery for a long time and now you are at peace but we all miss you here. I hope at some point we will be together again and I find you forgave me. We all love you T and still talk to you, about you every day. I cant bring myself to shut off you cell service or close your Facebook page because we still text and tell you things even though you are gone.
