I am letting the curiosity get the best of me. it’s not good. I’m going too far into things. I have been dealing with p*** addiction issues since I was about 11. When i was 13 i accidentally found child s***** abuse material. I couldn’t stay away from it. i used to actively search for it, either a few times every month or almost every day. i am 16 now. 1 google account and 2 discord accounts in the drain. I still have retained my social presence by just telling my friends to contact me on a different account. but I still feel horrible about it. I am not a p********. but every time I try to look for it on twitter with the excuse of “oh I’m gonna report it”, it makes my gut retch, my stomach sink, and my heart pound. I hate it. I feel I am I inching towards that classification. I have too much to lose to this stupid f****** addiction. While i do not watch it very frequently the few times i have done so have left me so morally confused and angry. A social life, an intimate relationship, and a good family life. I don’t want to live my life like this. I have never experienced attraction towards younger (3 or more years younger) people in real life. I would go as far as to say p********** in general ruined my life. the fact that young exposure leads to a higher potential of watching CSAM is true. I am just another statistic. There is nobody in real life i want to tell this to. I just want the grief to be set free. I am going to quit p********** for good. I am going to stop looking for trouble. I don’t want to live the rest of my life a disgusting s** offender. I want to keep being the funny outgoing person that everyone knows me as. I don’t want my p********** addiction to win. I will keep doing everything in my power for good
