I hate how age gaps were normal to me when I was younger. I thought it was okay to be groomed and to like people 10-20 years older than me. Now that I

4 years

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I hate how age gaps were normal to me when I was younger. I thought it was okay to be groomed and to like people 10-20 years older than me. Now that I look back, I cringe and see how desperate I was for attention and love, I constantly oversexualized myself, and liked how people would react. I’ve been s******* assaulted several times but have never said anything. I haven’t told anyone. I’ve been s******* assaulted by my father figure (who isn’t in my life anymore) and I was s******* assaulted by my childhood friend. I thought it was okay for a while until I grew older and older. I realize that it was never okay. I feel so guilty and so ashamed. I wish someone taught me it wasn’t okay. Everyone around me, especially online told me it was okay. It wasn’t though.

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I live in a two story house. The house beside is a one story rental. A young couple moved in. She is gorgeous. I see her in tiny nighties and mas turbate.

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Last year I had se.x with my friends girlfriend. They broke up not long ago, but not because of that. He still doesn’t know what we did. I’m not going to lie, the first time we did it I lasted about 30 seconds before I eja.culated inside her. She’s just so fu.c.king beautiful, it was like my di.ck wanted to fill her with sp.erm before she had a chance to change her mind. After the first time I was able to go two more rounds and last much longer. I even made her c.um a couple of times. She spent the night in my bed and we had s.ex again in the morning. Yes, I feel fu.cking guilty about it, but I didn’t think their relationship would last anyway (I was right) and we just have a natural chemistry. I hope she doesn’t tell him out of spite. Believe it or not, I really like my friend and I want to stick with him. Thank you for giving me a chance to get this off my chest.