The idea of having sex terrifies me... It's not that I don't want to, but as a trans woman I just have an immediate gut reaction to be terrified of not

4 years

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The idea of having s** terrifies me… It’s not that I don’t want to, but as a trans woman I just have an immediate gut reaction to be terrified of not only having someone see my body, but giving them access to it. I feel so gross and vulnerable. I hate being seen as perverse and e***** despite wanting to have s**. I feel terrible because I’m s** positive for others, but not for myself.

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I live in a two story house. The house beside is a one story rental. A young couple moved in. She is gorgeous. I see her in tiny nighties and mas turbate.

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Last year I had se.x with my friends girlfriend. They broke up not long ago, but not because of that. He still doesn’t know what we did. I’m not going to lie, the first time we did it I lasted about 30 seconds before I eja.culated inside her. She’s just so fu.c.king beautiful, it was like my di.ck wanted to fill her with sp.erm before she had a chance to change her mind. After the first time I was able to go two more rounds and last much longer. I even made her c.um a couple of times. She spent the night in my bed and we had s.ex again in the morning. Yes, I feel fu.cking guilty about it, but I didn’t think their relationship would last anyway (I was right) and we just have a natural chemistry. I hope she doesn’t tell him out of spite. Believe it or not, I really like my friend and I want to stick with him. Thank you for giving me a chance to get this off my chest.