5 years
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I can’t believe the person I used to be. I wanted to be a good person so badly that I faked it. I made up so many lies and I’m horrified and disgusted that I did it. It went on for so long..way too long. I felt like I needed to keep people’s attention with drama or they wouldn’t love me. Now I have to live with this albatross of guilt every day and I deserve to. I stopped lying 5 years ago but it will always haunt me. I can’t believe I did it. I deserve to be exposed but I don’t think I can live if I am. But that’s the coward in me talking. If I am exposed then I deserve to live with the crushing shame.
I was so used to being manipulated and abused by my family that lying became an escape. I imagined whole worlds where I could be angelic and good and people would want to rescue me. Unbelievably selfish. There is no excuse, no matter what my childhood was like. I would do anything to take it all back. The people in my life don’t and never have deserved it..all the b.s. I put them through. It’s disgusting of me. I don’t know why it took me so long to see how wrong it was..I was addicted to being a fantasy of a person. The real me isn’t so great. I get angry and I have secret desires and I am not the pure and innocent thing I wish I was. I will spend every day of the rest of my life trying to be truly good.

New Confession

Today I wake up it’s day three since my capture. Been held in this basement for today the third day with no sign of when I’ll be released. My name is Jake I’m 20 years old. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I was nabbed from a store round. This person seems to have no soul or compassion. He brought me here and has held me for three days completely naked.
This place looks like it was set up to hold people for periods of time. He has a fetish with preteen children, he befriends them, grooms them and trains them to aid in his bidding. They show up randomly in couples or small groups and as many ae twelve at a time.
He is a control freak and forces me to say whatever he wants me to say. Apparently he’s recording what he is doing to hopefully maintain my silence of what he’s done. I may seem rational to you but it’s because I’m writing from past history. But then, at the moment, I was so f****** scared I would do absolutely anything to get out of there. I finally got out by convincing him that I agreed with everything he was doing. He literally forced me to j******* in front of those kids until I came and I was to yell out how I liked that he forced me to because I was scared of him. He was turned on by the way the kids laughed at me. And that he caused it. I heard a boy say to another something about how many they’ve seen be a coward like that before. My people I’m warning you be aware this can happen to anybody, this nut isn’t racist nor judge mental. Everyone or anyone is fair game I’ve heard of different people and different states. Don’t walk alone men between 20 – 50.

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