im 19 and a woman, I’ve had a friend for a long time like 7 or so years and she and I have kind of always been inseparable. Around 15 she said she was bisexual and I didn’t fully know what that meant for us, to the point that I at one point thought I was too after I kissed her at a sleepover and we kinda just let it go.

I never felt anything for boys in a s***** or romantic way and I guess when watching p*** I’d mostly ignore the guys in it. Anyway about two weeks back now my friend and I had some other friends over since we live together with one other mutual. It was a trashy night of drinking and other stuff but I’ll be honest I didn’t have that much, mostly because it was a byob and I had no money for any really, I just smoked a couple of joints with friends and that’s it. My friend had a few drinks and basically did the same but that’s because she was more concerned about one of our friends getting trashed and breaking something like our new tv.

Towards the midpoint of the night one the girls got us playing this ridiculous drinking game, some of us removed a couple items of clothing and messed about gave other people a kiss or whatever. One of the things was to lick touch the other persons privates, my friend had to do this to me. I was kinda sat in the group with a dress half pulled down sat in my bra, some pantyhose that are at my ankles Cus of the game and kinda just open. She crawls over and begins the 60 seconds of touching, and she is also leaning in and saying some s*** stuff to me, and I got really turned on. Like this has happened a handful of times in my life that another person turned me on. I’ll admit I was really into it and throughout the night there was some heavy handed teasing and flirting.

When all but one or two of our friends left we kind of just decided to hang around together talking and laying together on my bed, I made the first move and she reciprocated, that night and the morning after and the days after I spent enjoying this new and exciting thing with my best friend. A few days later I got a call from my parents, they wanted to know what I was up to and typical parent things and my dad and mom both made some s*** jokes about boyfriends. I was uneasy and then after the call reality hit me that at some point I’ve gotta tell them something and I don’t even know what that is yet.

Basically I feel really tucking angry because all of the joy and excitement of this new thing is being ruined by my concerns about peoples opinions when I come out, I’m pretty sure I’m a lesbian and I’m more concerned about if I’m going to damage relationships when this comes out. I know people are going to be ashamed and that makes me feel ashamed because I don’t want to be considered some kind of disappointment because of who I like but it’s all I can think about at the minute.