I’m scared I might be a p********. I’m 15 and I’ve seen some stuff on the internet (drawings not actual cp) and I got off on them instead of being disgusted. I try to turn away from it and think “what a sick f*** to be drawing this 8 year old like this” but I don’t think I actually think it. More like a forced thought. I don’t know if it’s because I’m young (I heard children don’t really know the severity of pedophila) but I don’t feel like it’s wrong? I know it is but I don’t feel it. It’s terrible. It’s not only that. I’ve also been attracted specifically to like 11-13 year old boys. I guess that’s not too much of an age difference to tell if it’s pedophila or not but still. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never looked at a (clothed at least) actual child and been attracted. I know this kid who is 6 that always touches me and sits on my lap but I’ve never felt anything weird towards him. I’ve had intrusive thoughts like “what if you molested him right now” but thoughts like that every like 6 months is normal. I’m disgusting. I hope this is just a misunderstanding. Like I’m not actually attracted to the kids in those drawings or I just feel a connection with those boys. Please. Please be the case.