Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those s***** predators who molests women.
I just need help.
I’m just addicted to m*********** and I’m just 20. I m********* a lot. Sometimes once a day sometimes even thrice a day without any fail everyday. I’ve thought about it quite a bit that within a week I m********* well over 18-20 times, which may not sound that big of a deal but atleast I think that it’s concerning. In my university I live with three other roommates (all guys), I wait for them to go to sleep and then get to my business, by the time I start it’s already past 2 in the night. When I’m at home I even m********* in broad daylight when even when everyone is at home, I do it while bathing sometimes when everyone is sleeping and even sometimes on the bed while my brother is busy playing games hoping that he wouldn’t notice. I’m just that much of a degenerate. I skip sleep hours for m***********, I skip hanging out with friends, I skip college events and sometimes even classes to m*********. I don’t know how much more I can go down.
I watch p***, watch h*****, read h*****, read s** stories etc etc and I can’t help it. I’ve been doing it for such a long time that now I can control myself while m*********** and sometimes even m********* for an hour or so. And as expected I take really long time for baths maybe around average 45mins (don’t worry, I don’t keep the shower on the entire time). Sometimes my roommates have expressed their doubts, many a times even my family has asked me the question that what is it that I do that takes so long. I’ve always avoided such questions by not answering properly or just avoiding it or just saying that I just need that much time to bath.
But I think that my roommates already realise what I do in the bathroom, and I also think that mom realises that I m********* in the shower. I’m really ashamed of myself.
I just feel this sudden raging urge for s** every now and then, it makes me restless and as a result I m*********. I’ve been in this habit for almost 1.5 years now and it has made some physical changes in me of which some I’m ok with others I’m afraid about.
My p**** has grown quite much, it has got long like 6inches or 7 on hornier days and it has also become thick. This is a welcome change for almost all guys but now my glans ( layman’s: dickhead) has also grown quite significantly especially on the edges, there are so many veins popping up on my p**** now. It’s like if the 1.5 years ago me saw my current p****, he won’t even recognise that it’s the same person. And even my scrotum (layman’s: b********) is hung.
All these changes really worry me about my future, my s***** performance, my ability to have children etc.
I also feel a tinge in my heart every time I see a couple, I feel jealous of them, but I think that that’s just me being petty.
Even now while I’m writing this, I’ve already masturbated 3 times today, and it’s 3 in the night.
I think I just need help.