I’m a lesbian, that at one time 15 yrs ago was in love with my guy best friend. I mean, we were inseparable. After being friends for over 7 yrs, we dated for a while off and on, but things got complicated when he joined the marines and moved away.. our friendship eventually faded & I admitted to myself that I knew I wanted to be with women (something I had been struggling with for years due to my very Christian family). So I came out, eventually got married and lived my life. That is, until recently. My wife & I divorced, it was messy and tore me apart. She was narcissistic and manipulative. But the divorce was for the best… I started reconnecting with old friends, people my ex made me cut off & he happened to be one one of those people.. we hadn’t spoken in almost 10 yrs, but it felt like no time had passed. We started catching up, & was innocent at 1st but then some of those old feelings came back and he said they did for him too. So things slowly turned into more than being innocent friends, and became more of a lustful forbidden romance (which I know sounds silly considering he is married with kids..)
I always swore I would never be the other woman, but today his wife found out about our talks & threatened to keep his kids from him.
I’m torn between guilt and loss. I feel terrible for putting his wife thru this, no matter what their relationship was like before. But at the same time, I feel like I lost my best friend again. F***!!! Idk what to do..