I've had this natural disposition to hate everything since I was a young child. Seeing other people enjoy things absolutely just destroys me inside.

6 years

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I’ve had this natural disposition to hate everything since I was a young child. Seeing other people enjoy things absolutely just destroys me inside. Whether it’s a stranger or someone closer, such as a friend or family member, it still frustrates me to no end. I hate this about myself, which only fuels the never ending cycle of hate. Because of it, I started avoiding people. Which of course only made things worse.

I hate it. It hurts. If suicide was worth the effort I would’ve offed myself a lot earlier. But suicide is a hassle and an actual waste. It only inconveniences everyone around you.

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I didn’t mean to hammer that nail into your head

Bob The Builder

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Hello I am the man who has a compulsion to put objects in my b*** to simulate g******. I have often in the past sworn it off more times than I can count. I’ve confessed it to my priest over and over. The truth is I just like the feeling but the more I accept myself the less of an allure it has. So I slipped and did it again today. I use a smooth painted garden rake handle that I prop up and then back myself into it. I try and resist but I’ve come to accept that only Jesus can save me. It was not very satisfying even though I tried it to be and fucked myself good. I just did it a while and got a little prostate fluid out then I quit. It’s not that great anymore. So that’s my confession. Today is July 1 and it’s the last time. BTW I need to find a better outlet for stress and s***** frustration.