I had an affair 4 years ago. My husband and I have worked through this together, but the man I had the affair with was a good friend and there was a sort of love between us. I chose to end the affair, but I still loved both him and my husband. The man I had an affair with was murdered 2 years ago. I miss him terribly but have never been able to express my grief as to not upset my husband. I dreamed of him last night as I do often and woke up in tears. I miss him terribly, but can tell no one.