I killed my mother. She didn’t get to say goodbye. She counted on me to take care of her. I let them put her to sleep. I didn’t know that’s what it meant. When I found out I didn’t stop it. I could have stopped it. I don’t think she knew when they gave her the dose that was the last time she would be awake. I’m so sorry. I miss her so much. I know if she waited her death would have been so much worse. She would have been terrified. But, the fact I don’t know that she was ok with it then I assume she wouldn’t have wanted to go without saying goodbye. I can never and will never forgive myself for this. No one has ever looked to me to take care of them more than her. The pain of knowing that kills me.