7 years
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She killed herself because of me. I don’t think I can live with myself anymore, I need to confess.

When I was in grade 8, I had a grade 4 reading buddy who had cerebral palsy, once a week we’d go to her favorite place, the right side of the gyms stage (which was pretty much completely out of view from the gym and side hallway) and I’d s******* do things to her, gradually over time becoming more explicit through the rest of the year. Started with only my hand groping her thigh when we sat down, to feeling up her a** briefly at the end of reading time when we got up to walk back. That escalated to sitting on my lap as I read (calling it cuddles), to having her holding the book and my hands feeling up both her inner thighs and rubbing her puss through clothes when we sat on me. I then started luring her into the second gym storage room which was always unlocked and barely used, and there was when I took it to the next level. I’d pulled her pants down and pretend to be Mr. Bubbles (her imaginary friend) just there to inspect clean her messy v***** by rubbing on it (not in it) with my fingers, and then my tongue, reassuring her I was just cleaning her up. I’d also take my b**** and rub it around her puss reassuring her that this felt good. Eventually I lured her in and took the back end eraser of a pencil and sodomized her little v*****, she cried for a while but I told her that this was our secret and promised never to tell anyone, cause you never break a promise. But I was surprised I even got it in, especially at that age. S, it came to the point where I’d be f******** her while we read every time. Since I couldn’t get my d*** in without completely sodomizing her, I tried her other hole, got it in a couple times, but didn’t know about lube back then, so I tried raw dogging it, didn’t feel the greatest except this one time when I did get it in but she had smooth pooh which inadvertently improvised as lube. she tried screaming every time, but good thing she had a speech impediment, she had a very soft voice despite her incomprehensible dictation a lot of the times. I tormented her for a whole f****** year.

It really is fucked up beyond all recognition what I did to her, and that was almost over 17 years ago, and now learning that a f****** mentally challenged person somehow found the fruition to take her own life for reasons I helped contributed to. She mention me in her disturbing self written eulogy. That me and her abusive foster parents made it so f****** unbearable she didn’t see any other option.

A part of me died hearing this. Something I had suppressed until yesterday after a unsettling phone call from a mutual friend.

But a part of me got excited, as I wrote this. That I was getting off to it, recounting my deprived acts.

I didn’t think I’d react with such contempt and positive trepidation.

I’m sorry Rebecca

New Confession

My Mother had me chipped, like a dog. She was talking to our veterinarian and they must have decided to put a microchip in my co ck.

Mother took me to the veterinarian on the day it was closed. I was put on the table and strapped down nu de. The veterinarian Dr. Hannah Cutler, examined my co ck and balls and chatted with Mother. Then one of the technicians walked in, her name is Nikki. I was shocked to see that she was there. She examined me too. Then they talked about circumcising me as Nikki pulled and tugged on my foreskin and said all that nasty foreskin needs to be pruned. Nikki said I had a huge frenulum which would be utilized today but that really it should be excoriated with a hot cauterizing needle.

Then Dr. Cutler brought in a huge needle and put a microchip in it about the size of a grain of rice but a little bigger because it had a protruding ring or edge around the center of the capsule like maybe it was sealed there.

I mentioned that it had a big ridge on it and Nikki said, “Like your big ridge as she slipped her finger down my ball sac following the protruding raphe ridge. “I think this should be trimmed too,” she added as she pinched my raphe ridge. While pinching the ridge between her fingers, she wiggled my ball sac back and forth and she said. “This sac looks like it should be pruned too.” I was moaning from the pain of her sharp finger nails. Nikki said that my balls sac was excessive and must be reduced and tightened.

Then Nikki held my stiff co ck as Dr. Cutler shoved the large needle into my frenulum to inject the microchip. It was excruciatingly painful and it bled a lot. As the blood ran, Nikki rubbed her finger over it and said she likes it when boys bleed for her as she stared into my eyes. Her eyes twinkled and she was delighted that I was bleeding for her. Dr. Cutler put some Kwik Stop on the bleeding hole and it turned black in color and stopped bleeding. Nikki said they use Kwik Stop for all the dogs and she smirked. Dr. Cutler added a clamp on my frenulum that really pinched and burned but she wouldn’t take it off as I begged and struggled in pain.

Dr. Cutler waved a wand over my co ck and it located the microchip and it read out on her computer screen. The chip had been programmed with my name, address, phone number, date of birth, date of chipping, and other details such as my height, weight, the measurements of my co ck and that I was intact. It listed my Mother as my owner, and listed my behavior as Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), compulsive m*********** and said that circumcision was authorized. They examined my co ck and balls again and Dr. Cutler said the best place for a microchip would be in my balls. She finally released the clamp and cleaned up my throbbing fremulum while my erect co ck wobbled about.

Now I am chipped like a dog. My frenulum healed up after being chipped but I always feel the microchip. I feel the chip inside my co ck all the time. When we go to the veterinarian Mother makes me take my pants down so the technicians can see how my chip scans. I’ve had four different technicians scan my co ck and giggle in amazement at how I am chipped. They say that all boys should be implanted with a microchip ID.

They read the data and see that it says that I am a defiant boy and the one technician said she has some discipline methods to straighten me out. Another technician said I should just be neutered or de-balled because that solves behavior problems in the animals. Nikki added that emasculating me would get rid of the excessive ball sac and would solve that problem too. Nikki said she is eager to de-ball me and that she has castrated lots of dogs. Mother said I’d better behave or shell have Nikki fix my problem. Nikki said she is ready to do that anytime.

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