I’ve always felt incredibly guilty for never saying anything about being molested for a few months when I was 6. The guy ended up molesting another kid when I was in middle school, and ever since I found out that my silence led to him being able to fund another victim, I’ve always had this deep rooted hatred that I can’t seem to shake. But what makes me feel even worse about myself is I have r***/molestation fantasies. I know I would never want to really be assaulted again, but I still get off to the thought of not having any power in a s***** situation. Everytime I feel like that, I search it up and even though it is EXTREMELY common, I still feel disgusted in myself. I’m going to therapy but I don’t even want to bring it up because talking about everything thats happened is already so difficult, I don’t think I could admit this. I just feel so unhappy with who I am as a person and I wish my childhood was normal and happy