This is for people who have been ghosted by someone out of the blue

So I posted here almost a week or so back that I ghost people. Literally everyone I’ve known (besides family), I’ve ghosted sooner or later.

When I realized the pattern, which was very recently, I searched for the psychology behind it that leads me to do this.

It is always a VERY strong urge of escaping an emotional bond that I fear I won’t quite be able to maintain in a benign fashion. I want to run away before things get tough or complicated. I only wish to have good memories with the person, and as most of my social relations have been wrecks of sorts, ghosting has become a coping mechanism that makes me evacuate a situation before the storm hits.

The other reason, I had to kill my ego to accept, is that I’m not very likeable in the sense that I rarely have any interests that I can talk about in depth with others who enjoy something similar.
My work line truly takes up most of my time and head space. It demands research on detailed facts and figures, and hence there isn’t anything outside of it that adds to my personality, so even though I enjoy reading or writing some poetry every now and then, and enjoy reading about gardening, I cannot have a conversation about these topics as I only am aware of them in passing, and have only seen the surface scratch.
And it really intimidates me when people know so much about so much, but because I come off as dull and ignorant, they are bored quickly. It really is disheartening, especially because for some reason that I don’t understand yet, I come of as charismatic but that highly superficial image creates unrealistic expectations in people’s minds, and when they dig deeper to find nothing, they are disappointed.

This pattern was basically what led me to become overly anxious when people would approach me telling me how wonderful I seem and they’d love to get to know me better. My mind suddenly enters fight or flight mode and I zap out of their lives in a jiffy.

Then there is another reason that I have ghosted people: quarter life crisis. While everyone I knew was climbing up their way in life, I felt static due to a lot personal and family issues, and I didn’t want numerous active updates on achievements of my peers to act as triggers of my already crippling anxiety and depression. I wanted to move at my own pace without people bugging me with neverending questions about my life updates, employment, education etc. Explaining to them that I would need time off socializing would only magnify the “drama” of my absence, and would act as a bait for even more unsolicited speculation.

I hope that if someone you have known has ghosted you, you could give them the benefit of doubt.