I’m just saying this since I can’t trust anyone, and I need to get it off my chest. In my teens, I would f*** myself, I know cringeworthy and terrible. Keep in mind, I was a young teen. 13… I used the shower jet and just sprayed myself to the limit until I couldn’t stop and my hand was shaking like crazy or the warm water ran out. I would also get an object like my hairbrush or something and I raped myself. It was addicting, I wanted to stop but I didn’t want to… It’s honestly sickening to me now still is. At the same time, I swear I have some neurological disorder, I wanted anorexia, bulimia, and depression… I would go online and search my friend is depressed and see the causes. I would just force myself in a depressing cycle that I didn’t want to leave. I had experienced it for so long, I just felt comforted at the fact that I had a dreadful cycle. That my life was something..something depressing but it didn’t matter to me. I swear I have something wrong with my brain but I don’t want to get it checked since you know I’d have to say what I experienced. The reactions, It would just frighten me. wow, you’re a real psycho girlie go to a mental hospital why don’t ya.

Thank you, I just really wanted to say something even if it was on some random website. Thank you for reading. god, I feel terrible