I have been hiding from the world. First, I hid behind my husband. Then he divorced me. I also hid behind my child, who is growing up and no longer needs me. There is nothing left to hide behind. I don’t know how to truly live on my own. I have suicidal thoughts and feelings. I also have self destructive thoughts and feelings. I fantasize about entering into a relationship with a dominant who forces me to live. I wish a guardian angel would come into my life and solve all my problems for me. I don’t have the will to survive on my own and am too “needy”. I don’t want to grow up. I am weak and selfish.

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