this past thursday i went to the hospital for a mental health evaluation because i’ve been feeling suicidal and others were worried for me. my dad and i

7 years

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this past thursday i went to the hospital for a mental health evaluation because i’ve been feeling suicidal and others were worried for me. my dad and i live alone and don’t talk much but the morning after we got back from the hospital, he told me he loved me. twice. i feel like i’ve hurt him by continuously feeling this way with no changes for the past few years. i think he thought i was getting better too

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Idk as to why I feel this way knowing I already like my crush but I also slightly like my crush’s friend.

But I absolutely don’t wanna be in a poly relationship, not that it’s bad, it’s just that I can’t handle both boyfriends at the same time. It’s annoying because I genuinely already have a crush, obviously but my friends kept insisting that I choose my crush’s friend instead.

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.