I have a secret life from my husband that I feel very guilty about. I secretly torture myself while he’s at work. Over the years it has become more intense. I force myself to do things to myself.
It started with m*********** and spanking myself. Then I started to use a brush to spank myself with and it took on a life of its own from there.
What prompted me to write this is that it is reaching new levels that I never dreamed of when I started. I’m having fantasies of doing things that might even boarder on unhealthy.
I can’t see a shrink or it would raise red flags with him. How can I stop?
