I have a friend, she is my BEST friend, and I love her so damn much.

We’re your typical teenagers, except for the fact that we’ve never seen each other face to face. We met on an online website.

A few days after we met I decided to joke around with her and tell her I had two demons living with me, and to my surprise, she believed me. I continued on with it, planning to reveal that it had all just been a joke, imagining we’d have a lot of laughs.

But that didn’t happen.

She believed me so damn much, and she started to actually grow attached to these characters and talk to them like they were real.

I thought maybe she was just joking around with me too at first.

But…

It’s been nearly five years, and she still thinks they’re real even to this day, despite not knowing me in real life, and I don’t have the heart to tell her that everything has been a lie, because she’ll hate me so f****** much, and I’m not ready for that pain.

I’ve lied to her so many times..

In fact, she started telling me her own stories about experiences with “demons”, and I feel like she either knows everything, or that she believes it so much that she just.. ugh..

If somehow she’s by chance reading this.. I love you, and words can’t describe how sorry I am.

Every single day it gets harder to push on and continue just living, I’ve fallen into a depression many times, my anxiety is much worse, and it’s getting harder to hide the cuts.

Don’t worry about me though, whoever is reading this, I deserve every horrible thing that I’m going through, because I’m a horrible person.