Fuck man. My parents have told me to go to a therapist millions of times. I've declined every single time because I'm fucking weak, and want to deal with

7 years

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F*** man. My parents have told me to go to a therapist millions of times. I’ve declined every single time because I’m f****** weak, and want to deal with my depression “by myself”. I’m such a f****** idiot. It’s my third cycle, I can’t stand this any longer.

I wanna tell them to schedule an appointment but I keep pulling myself back, telling myself it’ll cost a lot of money and that I’m not worth that. I don’t even accept gifts or compliments from people anymore, I don’t deserve any of that s***. Besides, they have to be lies.

How the f*** do I swallow my pride? It’s obvious this mental state isn’t normal.

New Confession

Tbh, I don’t know why peenis isn’t spelled this way. I mean it has two functions, right? Curious girl.

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.