Hi all, I m going to confess a sin whose guilt is killing me every moment. I am suffering from ocd and pocd from more than 7 years. Although in pocd,

7 years

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Hi all, I m going to confess a sin whose guilt is killing me every moment.
I am suffering from ocd and pocd from more than 7 years.
Although in pocd, Pedophilic and incestuous thoughts are common and it is actually a mental illness.

h***://www.intrusivethoughts.***/blog/9-signs-might-pedophilia-ocd-pocd/amp/

But there is a difference between thinking and actions.

So about 5 years ago, my ocd was at its peak and I committed a big sin by mistake with my 12 years old little sister. I was 22 years old at that time. Although I hadn’t done any s***** act with her. I touched her private parts with wrong intension. Not only once, I done that many times with her, also forced her to touch my d*** and watched p*** several times with her. She was innocent, she doesn’t know what is right or wrong. And i masturbated a lot of times in bath room by thinking those scenes.

But after 2-3 months I realised that I had performed a very big sin. I apologized to her many times. She was so innocent that she said what was wrong in my act. But I immediately explained her that it is a child abusive act. I explained her what is good and bad touch.
She immediately forgiven me and said me to forget all. None other than me and her, knows about it. After realization, I didn’t do any thing with her and there after I hadn’t even think about all those s*** or anything s*** about her.

Now I am 27 years old and she is 17 years old. In these 5 years,many things are changed. But I apologized to her many times in these 5 years and she forgiven me every time. She always said me to forget all. Infact in all sisters, she care me most. And I also love her most. She is now completely okay.

But it is being very difficult for me to forgive myself. I am still feeling guilty and depressed about that incident.
Please tell me what I should do? How to punish myself to get rid of this guilt.
Should i commit suicide because if i confess about it to any family member then everything will be destroy.
I am agree to face any punishment. Beat me too much or make me impotent or torture me by any means but please help me to get rid of this guilt of sin i have done.

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