Oh man I feel disgusted with myself. I've had these terrible urges all my life but i didn't think it would compel me to do what I did yesterday. I was out

7 years

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Oh man I feel disgusted with myself. I’ve had these terrible urges all my life but i didn’t think it would compel me to do what I did yesterday. I was out getting high with some friends and then when I came home I felt like I needed to m*********. However, instead of just stimulated myself like I usually do, I felt like I needed to f*** myself with something. I couldn’t find anything small yet big enough to fit in me. The closest thing that seemed to look like it would work effectively was a foot tall mother Mary statue. It got worse after I came all over it. I’m feeling a lot of self conflict.

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Carspotter416

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.