I’ve sucked off a lot of straight men. I’m very pretty for a man, don’t take that as a brag because it’s really not. A lot of men in the gay community think being a feminine man is unattractive. Sometimes men in public bathrooms even assume I’m a woman. I’m comfortable with how I look, but I’m definitely not the tall, masculine, muscular gay ideal. It does seem to help with straight men though. I guess maybe because I look a bit like a girl and I’m small and quite delicate, they feel less threatened. Also, a lot of my straight girl friends have said that women don’t really like sucking guys off. So maybe that’s why theyre so excited. Most gay guys love giving head, and I’m one of them, and straight guys don’t know what’s hit them when a gay guy s**** their d***. They’re so excited to have an enthusiastic partner, and they always want to come back for more. The problem is that after a while some of these guys start to realise they aren’t so straight. I’m happy to talk them through it, and I have the skills to do so. I’m a registered psychologist, I have masters degree in clinical psych and I’ve been practicing for close to three years. I’m also currently doing my doctorate, but that’s where it gets complicated. My thesis is a study on the lived experiences of men who realise that they are gay later in life, and their experiences with psychotherapy approaches to help them accept their s********. I have been secretly using the experiences of my hookups as data. If you’re a researcher you know that strict de-identification rules mean none of my participants’ names are recorded when their data is coded… so it’s very easy to slip in their quotes without detecting suspicion. It’s not that I don’t care about these men. I really do. I always knew I was gay, and by the time I was old enough to come out I had accepted it. But some of these men have been living a lie for decades, and I am glad to be a part of their healing process. But I just couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t use this knowledge to help shed a light on this issue, and maybe help more closeted men out there. I know it’s unethical, but I hope my work is going to serve a greater good. I believe it is. And I still love going down on “straight” guys. So even if I can’t publish another study after this for fear I’ll be found out, I’ll be able to keep learning about this phenomenon and use it to help my clients in the future. I guess my confession is that even though I know that this is unethical by APS standards, I don’t think what I’m doing is wrong.