I just slapped my brother hard in the face and i feel so guilty. My brother is only 3 years old so i know it hurts him badly. I know it's not his fault,

7 years

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I just slapped my brother hard in the face and i feel so guilty. My brother is only 3 years old so i know it hurts him badly. I know it’s not his fault, not entirely, but everytime he comes to my room i hate him so much. He draws all over my wallpaper, my books, destroys all my things. But i don’t want him to feel bad about me, that i’m a terrible sister, and that when we grow up, i don’t want him to remember me as a savage, cruel, forever-angry-at-him person. What shoul i do?

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I need to cry so badly but I cant. There is so much bad in my life this year. The tears just wont come though. I think I’m too damaged to cry. too numb.

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