This event happened a few years ago and it was only the passing of my mum that triggered the event in my memory and triggered both guilt and excitement.

7 years

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This event happened a few years ago and it was only the passing of my mum that triggered the event in my memory and triggered both guilt and excitement.
My mum from time to time would have friends around from her work place . They were mostly her age and although a couple would have easily fitted into the “m***” category I really didn’t give them too much thought . However one of them was much younger and was in fact maybe only three or four years older than me (I was 14 at the time) After a while she started flirting with me but being a shy boy I really didn’t know how to flirt back but I definitely learned to look forward to her visits and especially when she wore short skirts and I let my imagination run wild about what I might get to see under them.Well one day my wish came true as she said that she needed a nap as the day had been pretty stressful. My mum offered her the use of a bed but she said she was happy to nap on the couch if that was okay . I was already sat at one end of the couch and was about to move when she smiled and said “don’t be daft there’s no need just stay where you are”
After a few minutes she dropped off and so it seemed had my mum who was sat in her chair the other side of the room .I noticed that the girl (let’s call her Gail) had slid down towards me and this had pushed her skirt way up her thighs so much so that I could almost see her p****** but not quite .
I could feel the excitement building in my body and my c*** started to get hard ,so hard in fact that I had to push it to one side in my jeans. Another couple of minutes passed and Gail stretched herself out so her feet almost touched me and now her p****** were fully on show . I could feel my c*** throbbing and was thinking about jerking off to the image of Gail later when for some reason I thought why not now ? I checked that my mum was still asleep and looked hard at Gail’s sweet face before I slipped gently off the couch and slowly released my c*** , I squeezed and stroked myself as I got my face as close to Gail’s p****** as I could all the while terrified that she would wake up and see me jerking over her. I took in the curve of her p**** under the material of her p****** and I could even see where she had shaved herself , I tried desperately not to c** too quickly but after maybe a couple of minutes I was cupping a handful of c** and struggling to get up without disturbing them .
When I got back from cleaning myself up in the bathroom both Gail and my Mum were awake and smiling happily at me .
This actually happened on another three occasions and it was only after my Mum died that it popped back into my head and it occurred to me that maybe it was just too much of a coincidence that they both “fell asleep” at the same time then were both “awake” once I got back from cleaning myself up hence the excitement mixed with guilt because I couldn’t work out if my Mum was involved in the whole thing although nothing more ever came of it

New Confession

You know that day you told me how you thought you were in love with me? That you were anxiously waiting to tell me how you feel? Well, I was feeling that way too. I’ve been feeling like that this entire time. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you in the moment. I didn’t know how to process it. I still don’t. But you make me feel so incredibly different. It’s uncomfortable, uncanny and here to stay. You make me want to be a better person in the hopes that we make something beautiful.

But what’s really holding me back isn’t my fear of intimacy. Or the fact that I’m completely avoidant. What holds me back from embracing this newfound love is her. I look just like her. My middle name is hers. We have the same interests, the same smile, the same everything. I understand you’ve known me longer than her, and that you liked me before you even met her, but I don’t know. I’m scared that you only like me now because you see her in me.

I appreciate the rekindling of our friendship, it means so much to me as it does to you. But I’m afraid of these feelings we have for each other. I really do like you. I would go as far as to say I love you. But I’m scared that you only love me because of her.

I’ll say what I would like to say to you here.

Being around you is such a privilege in my life. I understand that you think you’re indebted to me, but honestly, it’s the other way around. You’ve shown me that I’m capable of a love that I don’t want to run from. You are so generous, and hilarious, and incredibly handsome. To rekindle with you has been such a rollercoaster, and I never want to get off. I just hope that you like me for me, and not who you see in me. I really really like you. It’s making me freak out. I don’t know what to do with these feelings. I’d like a life with you.

But naturally, I can’t bring myself to say this to you face to face. Even if you wear your heart on your sleeve.

I like you so much. I’m sorry I’m scared.

Related Confessions

I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.