When i was twelve my cousin, being three at the time,was taking a shower with me and she kept hitting my breast and butt.So I grabbed her back was against

7 years

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When i was twelve my cousin, being three at the time,was taking a shower with me and she kept hitting my breast and b***.So I grabbed her back was against my stomach I held her across her chest. I then had the f****** amazing thought of scaring her by playing like I was a p*** .I didn’t touch her anywhere inappropriate but I was slowly slipping to the ground with her in that position while she kept saying we’re falling and I just said it back in a creepy tone hoping to scare her only for it to fail and for her to keep on laughing. When we got to the ground i said sorry for almost doing something I got out of the shower dried her and then myself.I felt bad but not really because I knew I wouldn’t actually have done anything and my mind was doing that to me to make me hate myself and I just have a wild imagination. For a time I forgot about it but when I remembered it I started seeing her naked in my mind and i would always try to get it out of my head and one time even had a nightmare of actually doing it and I woke up crying. and I was depressed for along time and I wish I’d just die but after telling my friend first about how I almost did that her telling me I was a good friend . Than actually remembering that I just wanted to scare her than telling it to my father and then my mother both of them giving me good advice. I went to see my cousin again, now 5 ,and to say sorry of course she didn’t know what I apologised for and just kept living on. but now I know that there is a time and a place for everything and to actually think before you do anything but I hope when she’s older I can tell her about this but until that time I will keep living like a normal person because I have not committed a crime and I should not feel like a disgusting horrible person when my only crime was not thinking.

New Confession

You know that day you told me how you thought you were in love with me? That you were anxiously waiting to tell me how you feel? Well, I was feeling that way too. I’ve been feeling like that this entire time. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you in the moment. I didn’t know how to process it. I still don’t. But you make me feel so incredibly different. It’s uncomfortable, uncanny and here to stay. You make me want to be a better person in the hopes that we make something beautiful.

But what’s really holding me back isn’t my fear of intimacy. Or the fact that I’m completely avoidant. What holds me back from embracing this newfound love is her. I look just like her. My middle name is hers. We have the same interests, the same smile, the same everything. I understand you’ve known me longer than her, and that you liked me before you even met her, but I don’t know. I’m scared that you only like me now because you see her in me.

I appreciate the rekindling of our friendship, it means so much to me as it does to you. But I’m afraid of these feelings we have for each other. I really do like you. I would go as far as to say I love you. But I’m scared that you only love me because of her.

I’ll say what I would like to say to you here.

Being around you is such a privilege in my life. I understand that you think you’re indebted to me, but honestly, it’s the other way around. You’ve shown me that I’m capable of a love that I don’t want to run from. You are so generous, and hilarious, and incredibly handsome. To rekindle with you has been such a rollercoaster, and I never want to get off. I just hope that you like me for me, and not who you see in me. I really really like you. It’s making me freak out. I don’t know what to do with these feelings. I’d like a life with you.

But naturally, I can’t bring myself to say this to you face to face. Even if you wear your heart on your sleeve.

I like you so much. I’m sorry I’m scared.

Related Confessions

I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.