7 years
x
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I feel like a p**** because my life has been so easy. Ik it’s stupid. So many of my friends have gone through so much like abuse, divorced parents, loss and depression and s*** and there I am with the easy ticket through everything. I feel like a selfish b**** to think this way but I can’t get the feeling out of me. Even as I am writing this down I feel like such an idiot and all the small problems I have are irrelevant and unimportant compared to all the people who go through a lot more than I do and the thing is, is that it’s true. S***’s getting out of hand; I feel like I can’t wait for a relative, parent, sibling or friend to die so that I can feel validated and not like a f****** coward. Next thing you know I feel like a b**** for feeling like a b**** for not going through what they go through. I’m not posting this to try and get affection or concern for everyone cuz thats just gonna make me feel like more of a b**** for making people care about something that is irrelevant; I’m posting this here cuz idk it might help me shut the f*** up and stop being a b****, but one thing I can’t voluntarily change is that i’ll always be a f****** p****. F*** I should shut up who the f*** am I to act like i have f****** problems. I’m a d*** and i’ll always be one until something f****** tragic actually f****** happens in my life then I won’t be such a f****** p****. How dare I act like I have f****** problems. No wonder why I am so ashamed of myself, I deserve to be. Anyone who cares is wasting their time and that’s my fault because I made them know about it by putting it here. F***, what does it matter; this s***’s anonymous anyways so I can put whatever the f*** I want and no one important to me will ever know. Don’t care about me; I don’t want you to. It’ll make me feel more of a p****.

New Confession

My daughters boyfriends uncles grabbed me coming out the door. They pushed me into a nice Escalade and told me were going for a ride. They took me to this place far away from anywhere if they chose to they could kill me and no one would find me. I was threatened by the kid he told me about his uncles and what they could do. I was scared shitless. Wondering what was in their mind. They told me they heard the stories and they were disappointed. These guys were muscular they worked out they were threatening figures. We arrived at a house away past the Forrest. Behind the mountains. Real high up. We went into a closed private room with a tv set and a couple of seats. Through his phone he set up a double chat with his nephew and my daughter was with him. They talked as they explained I was there with them and they would get to see everything that’s about to happen.
They told me to strip, socks and all.
They then cuffed my arms on the wall spread apart and same with my legs. They detailed my hole body part for part degrading in verbal abuse every failure compared to their chilled perfections as men. My daughter was watching all this abuse I was experiencing as her boyfriend kept telling her baby this is for you, payback for him bathing you and touching you when you were younger. It’s your turn to watch him suffer for what he did to you. They took off the cuffs and beat the s*** out of me wrestling style, made me go through holds of pain and suffering, total humiliation. Manhandling galore. Super exhibition galore. They totally humiliated my a**. When done they let my daughter talk. Dad you know what you did was worthy of this compared to getting killed. I still love you dad I told them not to they wanted to. All I could say was I deserved it. Then thanked her. Later on I’d see her in person not knowing if I could find the guts to show my face after an experience like that.

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