So about a year ago I (19m) used to stay at my best friends (16m) house. His family was alright with me. We were practically brother's that hung out

7 years

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So about a year ago I (19m) used to stay at my best friends (16m) house. His family was alright with me. We were practically brother’s that hung out literally 24/7. I stayed in his room on the floor and he would be in his bed. So one night I got “worked up” and it seemed like he was asleep so I got to work and soon to behold he wasn’t asleep and he started working on himself. We finished and that was it. Didn’t acknowledge otherwise in the morning. Thing is the next night he began working himself with me completely awake. I didn’t mind just turned away but I soon got working as well. This secret hush hush taboo kept on for a few nights. We both became a bit awkward though because I stupidly began to move on to working without clothes and he didn’t seem to like that so I stopped the first time. But the next night hr literally was completely clotheless and just turn off the night lamp we used to see one another so I took that as I could join him without clothes as well . In actuality it wasn’t like that. He got uncomfortable again. But I wanted him to be so I moved further and started touchig him to show it was okay but that only made things worse. I go addicted to it though. So for the next few nights I would touch him some nights he might have been asleep. We grew apart a bit after this he never admits that it is the reason but I feel like that this is why. I just I miss him and care for him but feel like he hates me so just distance myself. Even though I want to talk to him about it but I he didn’t know about the nights where he was asleep I’d only make things worse than they are I feel. I just don’t know what to do. Should I talk to him to see if we can be friends again or just leave it be even though I’m literally so depressed. I apologize fo this being so long.

New Confession

My daughters boyfriends uncles grabbed me coming out the door. They pushed me into a nice Escalade and told me were going for a ride. They took me to this place far away from anywhere if they chose to they could kill me and no one would find me. I was threatened by the kid he told me about his uncles and what they could do. I was scared shitless. Wondering what was in their mind. They told me they heard the stories and they were disappointed. These guys were muscular they worked out they were threatening figures. We arrived at a house away past the Forrest. Behind the mountains. Real high up. We went into a closed private room with a tv set and a couple of seats. Through his phone he set up a double chat with his nephew and my daughter was with him. They talked as they explained I was there with them and they would get to see everything that’s about to happen.
They told me to strip, socks and all.
They then cuffed my arms on the wall spread apart and same with my legs. They detailed my hole body part for part degrading in verbal abuse every failure compared to their chilled perfections as men. My daughter was watching all this abuse I was experiencing as her boyfriend kept telling her baby this is for you, payback for him bathing you and touching you when you were younger. It’s your turn to watch him suffer for what he did to you. They took off the cuffs and beat the s*** out of me wrestling style, made me go through holds of pain and suffering, total humiliation. Manhandling galore. Super exhibition galore. They totally humiliated my a**. When done they let my daughter talk. Dad you know what you did was worthy of this compared to getting killed. I still love you dad I told them not to they wanted to. All I could say was I deserved it. Then thanked her. Later on I’d see her in person not knowing if I could find the guts to show my face after an experience like that.

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.