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I got drunk again last night alone in a hotel room and I woke up naked and didn’t know what happened …. I couldn’t j******* this morning …no matter how hard I tried

I tried everything. Lotion. In hotel bed. drunk and hungover again. alone again. No underwear. fantasies about old ex girlfriend from 2003-2005, its been so long since ive been inside a young girl, so long, im so lonely, I wanted her and could stop obsessing about her, she was so short, I made her keep trying cigarettes, I was thinking about her s*** high heels giving her blisters, about hiding her birth control, about her teen pregnancy when I was 24. trying not to think about her abortion

I couldn’t shoot my load. Even in the shower. Even when I was covered in soap and lotion.

I took amphetamines and tried jerking off furiously for 3 hours straight

I cried

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