Ok….. First time confessing to this site.

Im so soryy, I have done something I cannot undo which is still traumatizing me at the very moment. I can’t tell this to my friends or anyone I dearly knew. It really is a painful experience when I think every time I did it with her. Ok, so what happened is I have this classmate. This asian classmate named Naomi, she is basically a top woman with financially and intellectually out of my league and I did something to her which I regrettably think aftetwards.

Well it started when I met her at first day of class in A.P, She was really nice (at the start) we kinda got close in the 1st to 2nd half of the Semester. After the 3rd semester, she was befriended by those b****** that I should not even think about. Really after she got closed with those b******. We didn’t get close as we used to and she changed. Changed to a b**** =/

In all those times she went with those b****** she was literally being bad influenced and now Bullying me. (Yes, I have observed mostly and my friend, She was the other Girl Person who was bullying me) FFS Why can’t I hit her or do something?? Again Financially and Intellectually Out Of My LEAGUEEE. But It pains me to remember what I have done.

In the present year. Nov/17/2018, After the class. I was so busy busy busy. Research, OJT, Nearing Board Exam at Jan/2019 and what do I always get? The b**** friend I used to be closed with. Which always calls me d***, loser, nerd, gay, and always always the fcking head smack. In that moment, I was so stressed out and nearly snapping because of my proffesor sleeping and disrespecting my report. And sheeee smacked the back of my head and said what a loser (It made me snapped, I was gonna go to my home, rest a little bit and continue on) But she insisted to provoke me in my state of breaking point. Then it was at that point…… I grabber her hands and unbutton her polo and remove her skirt…….. she was gonna scream at that moment f****** momentt………… I covered her mouth while I placed her against the wall. She was saying something to me at that time but I was too omfg what have I done. I forced my past closed friend to a s***** i**********……. It hurts…… Every time I think it could be better when I did it, It wasn’t all I feel is pain and regret. It was a sin.

And after I was done with her, I quickly ran and went home as quickly ad I can. I locked my room, hugged my pillow, and cried like a b**** like ffs why am I remembering this s*** hahahahaha

After the next day I was so scared to go to school, I thought I was going to jail or be expelled. Still Naomi is in class after I got inside the room with very few of my classmates inside the class……. We looked each other eyes for just a split second and I was so f****** nervous to go inside becauee I just forced s** somebody who is who hey waaay out proportions……… And at class started nothing happened like any news or any something. At break, My only thoughts were not Karl Marx’s Marxism but was that pure reggretable thought of action. It was at that point I should talk to her or cut school. (I was gonna cut school at this point, when 10:17) She sit besides my seatmates empty chair and talked to me like hows life goin, you had lunch yet, like wtf…… The moment she even talked scared the hell out of me (to think I do that to her and after this….. this s***?) She asked questions about how was my day, Did I eat already or did I understand anything at Ms.Sonias Philosophy Class.

At that moment I think I was a bit inch safe, then she said Go to bathroom after you’ve done eating. (The moment she said that f***. I thought of myself, I was gonna get beat up, blackmailed, killed, arrested, expelled, anything negative about life is what I thought at that time she said that) she went out the class and I was there…. In my chair sweaty as hell thinking of ways to go. And a bit minutes, I manned up. If I was going to be beat up, I must look on the bright side. (they must decrease edgy fucks like me) so yea went up to 3rd floor, In this particular spot and I whistled in a particular tone (I whistled Jelly Castle, music we used to listen) then she whistled back…… In the f****** girls bathroom. Some of you may realize just go to the girls bathroom. Well fock Im highly scared of going into the girls bathroom and I told her that outside which is a good thing there was no people at the moment on the floor because they are busy eating outside whilst some present in the halls but they can’t hear us. She said “Dont chicken out and come here” I was so scared because I thought her friends are with her and gonna be there to expose me as a… You know. And blackmail the s*** out of me.

And I manned up again, went inside……. Also I gotta review……. The womens bathroom or CR is quite clean and has this sort of scent of strawberry??? i dunno if you woman or girls perfume in the bathrooms but damn better bathroom and CR than boys. I went inside in a wuss like condition, she said go inside the the 4th cubicle and I went inside there, and she is there…..

After I went inside, doors closed. Omfw I begged so badly and apologized like there’s no tommorow to forgive for what I have done. She in an annoyed manner saying that it was ok….. and try not to think about it. (That moment I was ready to give up on life) until she said wanna continue what we did yesterday and then I was in a confused state she then started to pushed me on the toilet and sit and I said to her “We should not be doing this” because I was still disturbed by the things I did to her and then she unzips my pants and gave me a bj………. it was my first time. After I finished she said let’s do this again.

And second time we did it was on Dec/15//2018, Finished my clearance, she is too, and start of Christmas Vacation. After we went out life has kinda been free but not all too free….. Because the thought of it was still mind boggling and eats away at my consciousness to think of what I did to her. We kinda started to be close again and avoiding those b****** most of the time after that “thing” when we went outside she asked me If could come to her house and “hangout” (and again my consciousness eats away at my thoughts and I thought of that she prepared brutes to beat my a**, Police, or even worst of what I was thinking) I was so anxious that time but she says to not be anxious and be stressed out again. So I did come to her house, Its Big, I was first greeted by her Mom, her beautiful Mom… Oh no stahp…. And her Dad when we went up and they seemed a bit nice ehehehehe but I wasn’t too good at that time (I was still regretting about what I did) and when we went to her room, she closed the door and closed the lights, and I forgot what she was talking about when we was outside the school. Yes, we had s** again but with clothes on…….. Its hard and I didnt feel good about it but she seems happy about it.

Then on Dec/31/2018 my 24st Birthday she contacted me and said if I can come to her house on New Years Eve or also known as my BDay so I did after I got greeted Happy B Day with so many fam and after meeting her parents greeted them same, went up,and as I opened the door she was on the bed….. Lying m*********** in a Santa’s Costume. (I did promise myself no fooling around and have on that day) but for f*** sake we spent all day having s** and not only that we were cuddling and kissing like a cute couple BUT THAT ISN’T THE CASE when at the moment I was about to you know….. climax she said she wants my baby and I did it……. i creampied her. After we finished she kissed me and we cuddled like nothing happened that was gonna change our lives because of I did. After we were finished we both go together to the shower and washed ourselves and almost have s** again and spent the entire 2018 in her house =/

2019 Happy New Ye… Whatever….. This is an experience I have to man up and take responsibility, I regret what I have done, and she deserves better. With this out of my mind hopefully it helps my consciousness to not f*** with me again and hopefully I can rebuild my trust to Naomi. Well happy new years all and Im so sorry for what I have done.