I am an overweight ftm. My girlfriend is mtf, and she passes eally well (she is also on hrt.) and her weight is healthy. whenever i hear of her growth and

8 years

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I am an overweight ftm. My girlfriend is mtf, and she passes eally well (she is also on hrt.) and her weight is healthy. whenever i hear of her growth and how she is developing with her face i cant help but be secretly jealous. I f****** hate it and i wish i didnt think so much about myself, im so happy for her but its always in the back of my mind. Its really depressing…it also happens to me with other trans folk.
My weight doesnt help me at all,i have an extremely curvy and feminine figure. This makes me super dysphoric and depressed and in result I had an eating disorder in the past and it struggle a lot with staying away from it. A lot of my past feelings are still there and recently its been horribly hard to stay away from it thanks to the holidays.

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This is your sign to drop the religious b******* and enjoy your life.

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I used to go online, find girls to have online relations with. I was a teenager. It started from the start of high school, when I was 15. At worst was F, that was my bottom barrel. It was gross. I don’t know how old she was but she was younger. It was near the end, during the pandemic. I was older, she was younger. I don’t know how much younger, but I was 16 I think. She was younger. Like 2 or 3 years younger, I dunno? It was gross of me. I regret doing it but I fear my regret isn’t because of how I hurt someone, took advantage. They were ok with it in the moment, we were both on the same hookup site. But I was gross. No question about it. There was T too but that was a 16-18 age gap. I deleted the accounts. I was just gross.